Friday, February 11

Tough love

Sometimes this parenting lark is a little more tiresome than one would care to admit. It requires more patience or energy than you might have today but now is the time your effort is necessary.

For a while, an somewhat inexplicably, Bounce has been the class thug. He thumps people, pushes them off chairs and is generally most unpleasant in sudden outbursts during the day. He is immediately very apologetic and does understand that this isn't a nice way to behave but sadly hasn't learnt an alternative coping strategy when he is vexed.

After an especially bad week, an ultimatum was made, the kind you hope you won't have to enforce, and for a while it seemed to be working. I collected him at the end of each day without receiving any bad news and began to think we had turned a corner. Reckless, of course. Today he has again launched an unprovoked attack on an innocent classmate and so has had to miss the party.

Oh how the tears have flowed and they have been the heart wrenching sobs of real upset rather than the easily ignored roars of rage. I have sad with a heavy heart all evening, though I know that our decision is right and the effort will hopefully reap rewards.

Then, to cap it all, Lapin was grumpy at bedtime, despite an evening littered with special treats.

This discipline lark is pretty hard work for all of us.


magsmcc said...

Bon courage- had to call in after this post! Dreading parental interviews after half-term- one dreamer and one mad man!!

alice c said...

MasterM had terrifying tantrums at the age of 12. We know now that it was because he was very unhappy at school. All through that time we tried to keep separate our disciplinary response to individual situations and giving him the confidence that our support and love for him was absolute and unconditional.

It was a phase which made us all very unhappy and I only tell you this because eventually it came to an end - just as this challenging time for you will. You may not discover the reason for his behaviour for years but perhaps you can help him to express his anger/frustration in a more socially acceptable way.

MasterM discovered that he could get us all to do what he wanted by making us laugh. It works a treat.

fiona said...

Gosh, that's a tough one for you (all). I am always so desperate to 'just get through' this toddler phase and just see some daylight, so to speak, but there's always something to worry about. I guess we just have to go with the old mummy mantra of "This too will pass!". Good luck!

Baglady said...

Tough call but the right thing isn't always easy to do. Bravo.